Domestic violence survivor helps victims find healing

By Marijke Fakasiieiki

A plaque hanging over the desk of Taffy Hunter in her office at Spokane Regional Domestic Violence Coalition (SRDVC)/End the Violence shares words from Isaiah: "We are called to break the chains of those who are in prison and set free the captives."

As a reminder that she was once captive and set free, it has hung in other offices where she has served. She is now called to serve those who are captive and to move them to the joy of release from bondage to violence.

Taffy, who has been executive director since April 2024, previously worked with the SRDVC, bringing skills from her education and her commitment as a survivor of domestic violence.

"Because I was that captive, I have the skills to help others escape captivity with compassion, care and humility," she said.

"My favorite color isn't green!" was what she yelled out the window when driving away, fleeing with her children, because during her 15-year marriage, her husband assumed her favorite color was green.

"One of my first acts of agency was to say that. I then searched for what my favorite color was and realized I love all the colors, so I'm often dressed like a rainbow," she said.

After gaining the courage to leave an abusive marriage, she returned to school and began to learn about abuse and domestic violence.

Taffy earned an associate of arts degree in early childhood education from Lethbridge Polytechnic in Canada, a human services degree with a focus in domestic violence at Walden University in Minneapolis, Minn., and later a master's degree in human services with a focus on nonprofit leadership from Touro Worldwide University, a Jewish-sponsored university in Los Angeles.

"Being a survivor and a violence preventionist, I created a trauma-informed and trauma-responsive workplace for my team," she said. "It's important that our office is a welcoming, safe and productive workplace, because domestic violence work is hard and has a high rate of burnout."

She believes that if the people who work in the field are understood, safe and supported, they do better.

"I'm passionate about prevention and redirection. I work with our board, my team, community leaders and stakeholders to realign with our mission and vision as the regional domestic violence coalition," she said.

Knowing that one in three women and one in seven men in Spokane experience violence, they prioritize research on why domestic violence happens and how to prevent it. Prevention includes educating the community with positive norm campaigns, training people through SRDVC's annual conference, providing a business toolkit and creating community partnerships to strengthen the coalition.

"Prevention lies in breaking down silos in the city, county, neighboring counties and across the state. Because there are many cross-county and cross-state cases, it's important to coordinate our work by bringing people together," Taffy said.

Spokane as a region supports, helps, guides, listens to and believes domestic violence survivors and victims, she said, adding that prevention also comes by offering options to help domestic violence perpetrators stop or not start abusing.

Coalition therapists and partners work with those who use violence in relationships to improve communication and relationship skills.

"Domestic violence can be prevented," she said. "Our goal is to make everyone safer."

This is the fourth year for a regional domestic violence conference that Taffy first envisioned in August 2021. The SRDVC End the Violence Conference planned for March 17 to 19 offers tracks for law enforcement, judicial members, advocates and youth violence preventionists. One workshop is on interfaith perspectives on domestic violence.

One workshop is on interfaith perspectives on domestic violence.

Taffy said the four tracks break down silos between professionals, allowing advocates, law enforcement and courts to share information so they can better serve survivors.

Because SRDVC believes domestic violence is preventable, the track on youth violence prevention is for youth victims and survivors of family, relationship and dating violence.

Taffy also seeks to create spaces where it's okay—not taboo—for survivors like her to talk about their experiences.

Throughout the year and for domestic violence awareness month in October, the SRDVC creates accessible spaces where it is safe and accepted to talk about domestic violence in general conversations about support and about resources to help people learn about workplace and dating violence.

Taffy offered some examples.

• SRDVC's youth violence preventionist provides healthy relationships classes in schools and community centers.

• SRDVC has a positive community norms campaign using feedback from a community survey on prevention related to particular communities.

• Through Court Watch, SRDVC works with law enforcement on firearms relinquishment to reduce the risk of death when someone who is violent in a relationship has access to a firearm.

• SRDVC's crisis advocate works with self-help legal centers launched in December in rural communities, so people don't have to drive to the city to file a domestic violence protection order.

• SRDVC collaborates with a regional multidisciplinary fatality review board with eight professionals to determine what intervention might have prevented homicides in the region.

• SRDVC helped the Department of Corrections develop an online map for people coming out of detention, prison or jail to connect them with resources to reduce recidivism.

• SRDVC provides an impact empathy panel for people going through court-ordered or mandated treatment for abuse and domestic violence, where survivors share their stories to create empathy.

• SRDVC's Handle with Care is a pilot program with schools and NEW ESD 101 in Eastern Washington. When a child is at the scene of a traumatic incident—domestic violence, a heart attack, a drug overdose—law enforcement notifies their school without specifics to "handle the child with care."

They train law enforcement, teachers and administrators to provide a trauma-appropriate response to children when they come to school the next day—offering breakfast so they aren't hungry, putting off a test or letting them nap in the counselor's office.

"These measures reduce the trauma and prevent them from acting out," Taffy said.

"In addition to such care, self-care is important in a survivor's journey and is specific to each person," she said. "Part of a survivor's healing journey is discovering who they are because they lost their personhood. Figuring out who they are, what's important to them and what they enjoy is vital."

For Taffy, healing came in realizing she loves spending time with her children and learning about domestic violence and biblical languages. She also finds joy in raising ducks, naps, bubble baths and good food.

"The fun of coming out of abuse is to discover what we love," she said.

Taffy added that SRDVC is prioritizing working with faith communities to help them recognize, respond and refer victims and survivors.

"We want faith communities to show up for victims and survivors and to support families experiencing abuse," Taffy said. "We have resources to share a biblical approach to understanding domestic violence. We encourage those in any faith community to be aware that every third woman may be experiencing domestic violence."

SRDVC wants to help faith communities create safety, so victims can come forward to find support and healing.

For information, visit endtheviolence.org.